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August 22, 2016

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FOUND, MAYBE
PART 1

On 08 Aug 2016, at 13:52, A. Spaice wrote:
Hi Janis, Thanks for getting in touch! Love to meet and converse. We are thinking about hosting this in TTP or BKK1 this time. I will have details soon. Can you let me know you got this? Updates from there. Thanks!

FOUND, MAYBE
PART 2

On 2016-08-09 10:33 Janis, Excellent… I’ll need to get a poll going so we can choose a date–seems like some are away right now… I’m thinking the end of August. Will you be here then? What dates are best for you? Will send the poll link, once I gather a few data points! ;)

FOUND, MAYBE
PART 3

Also, sorry to spring this on you, but there may be an impromptu group meeting for this tonight, in any case I will be there. Meet me at Rooftop Philosophy #3? 6:30 The Patio rooftop bar. Take the elevator all the way up, exit left. I’m at 096.562.7510. Look forward to then, or in some weeks, cheers! DK

In the time since these first notes got posted and now I have been noticing a change in my correspondences with people. I’ve been seeing that I actually write longer sentences with more verbs and nouns and other things. Like punctuation. Maybe I had lost this sense of wanting to connect with people in a real, human way. Which means taking time, right? Taking time to write the thing, the darn thing, now I see your quandary, you have to actually think about them. You do. YOu have to wonder how they’re feeling and not just zip out some sort of Date Place Time and ‘do the form!’ directives. I mean, I always thought that was efficiency and weeding out all the people who are just, as this Australian person once said, the ‘gonnas’. I mean, we’re gonna this and we’re gonna that. All day long. I get so tired of that. I do. I personally get very tired of maybeism. I think that’s why I designed this stuff, the way I did. Not everyone is there for the same reasons, of course. I see networking. I see people looking to meet people. Sure, of course, that’s life. I can’t just state “don’t do that boring stuff!” when, I realize now, I’m doing it, too. I’m totally just wanting to see who’s around and let’s just try something and let’s just go, and then I will. And I do. I’m writing now here because I want to not lose this feeling before too many days go by. I know they will and I will forget the feeling of wanting to actually take the time to be patient with people; let things fall as they will, not try to be so… ugh… like in the way of it. By overdesigning. For most of the time I was writing my things, they were very me-focused, of course. I know. It’s terrible. But I think I was pretending that through the verse of looking inward I could, perhaps, connect with something bigger… it’s so philosophical and metaphysical… cosmic… stuff. Like that. The mystery of it all. Beauty. Origins and intellect. Thinking about the whole, the mighty drop that Rumi talked about. I could go on and on. Might like to one day, in a book somehow on metaphysics. Oh, wait. I’ve been writing about that topic my whole life, just dressing it up in super short, first-person books about nothing except the usual: love, life, loss, chance. The kismuth stuff that my grandmother and I would talk about. Making me miss her as I write this. Writing to discover, but also writing to forget. A part of yourself. CM had said that, writing is a longing for a past that never was, or something like that. That was so poignant and poetic. Leave it to the internet projects that are about discoveirn gnew people to lead me to C. I was so dumbfounded, and there she was, just picture-perfect poet-y.

Today someone said that while I write about the interent being such a timesuck pain in the ass thing (like I wrote on the 16N page) that it actually eads me to the people who would show up for a thing like 16N. *duh* *reality* I was like, ‘Whoa. You’re right.’ I didn’t like that feeling of being smacked with the irony. Do I love the internet because it connects us, or hate it because it fragments our really great relationships and the sense of who we really are, apart from what others see and say and think? Internet I Hate You, that was the thing I wanted to bring back here, when I came back from Scandinavia… I wanted to… but the audience here isn’t quite… isn’t quite it. Is the audience I am looking for anywhere in particular? I think in the public spaces, libraries, cafes, and bookstores that aren’t overshiney-new. Semi-public space suits me best. In the back alleys and the floors of friends’ houses in countries that have interesting-sounding names to the ear of the untrained and untraveled American. Who *should* know geography of Europe, for the record. SHOULD.

Why am I writing all this here, of all places?

Dunno.

Just, a feeling.

And besides, there is so much going on these days online that I have forgotten how to notice real life. Me, the non-internet person, supposedly. The one advocating for designing ‘space for real life’ and so on. And fallign for all the nonsnese, sometimes, falling for the Othering that happens, when we try to generalize ag roup of peopel as ‘this way’ or ‘that’. Dogma! So dumb. Gets int eh way of really connecting, really seeing, new and different others. All of this is terribly revealing. I am just passively taking in all my stupid twitter account streams (yes there are several) and I am wondering, What is the point of this? When I get to London I will have to go and discover the last 7 people. Maybe more. It depends if DH really comes from Scotland or SEH really comes from Sheffield. These are people I met on my travels. They are travel-types, but also very intriguing. And shy. I don’t know. If it weren’t for people like this coming to these things, these spaces would be boring. Becausey ou know what happens when we ust do the things online that we thinnw e should do to move towards the thigns that get us ‘paid or laid,’ that’s what I call these things, these things that go into these boxes, that are in those two categories, not THE THIRD ONE, which I LOVE, which is ‘the third place,’ you can google that, or you know? Just talking… talkign!!! I mean, really. When did it get so agenda driven? I hate that stuff. Why am I writing in this box again? I always wonder… I still write into it, though. I am positng bits about F&LPP. I’m listening to Journey. Or maybe it’s The Cranberries. One of htoes, from back then. Ages ago. You said films from the 90s are ‘old,’ once. THa tmade me laugh. I really didn’t know that it was so long ago. I guess so, though. It’s all relative, eh. Yes.
On then, to noteworthiness. This is the subject for ‘N’ in London. I have no idea where to start to design the program for it. I am looking online but so far I’ve just googled ‘noteworthiness.’ Dumb. That was a dumbs tart. I’ve spent ht emorning doing NOTHING. Nothing should be the topic. I think for ‘N’ in Gangtok, one day, when I make it back to Sikkim. I love that place We did a thing about something and it got interesting and nothing came up. I can tell you about hta tosmeday if you want to hear about it. Did you notice I’m not correcting my typos???! That is just tsho show that htere isno harm in being Not Perfect. Are you a perfectionist, I wonder? Maybe you are. Maybe that’s it. That’s the thing. PERFECTIONISM. I used tobe but then it got reallys tifling. I mean, why not just let it flow/ Isn’t htat the thing you do, usually??? Isn’t it? Or not. Maybe it’s just a theoretical way of being. Still. I’m writing because I like to share things with you in this spac.e I wonder how private blogs are, really, even when they are protected posts. I dont’ think email is where I should write real things anymore. Or anything online, really. Letters, maybe, but you know what a pain it is to send letters form here!!! I sent one once maybe two years ago but never got an acknowledgement that it reached its destination. So. I stopped writing letters and started writing into these little boxes of space. Like this? Not everyone does, of coruse, It’s a bit weird, I know. Still. It’s fun. A way of starting thigns or continuing things or making things go. Oh, now it’s FEIST. I have this CD. I used to listen to it. I hsould probably get some new musi. Hm, hm.

MUCH OF THE TIME WHEN IT GETS TO BE LATE like this, late late and I should be in bed, not staying up typing, and it is jetlag that I blame, and not my own lack of initiative to make the time to get things shifted back, then, yes, I get philosophical. Philosophy! I just put that into the website now, it’s there, at the very tippy top of the front page, and I”m just going to enjoy that. Whatever. I can go on about philospophy, and phwoefpwe and whatever else the spelling might be. I’m enjoying this journey. I wonder if you are in CHINA. I wonder what it’s like there. I feel like I’m in high school when I post in here. I should Snapchat. I shouldn’t. Dreadfully inefficient, and a timesink, I’m sure. I’m SURE. I’m sure. But… mabye.

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