5. There’s mutual empathy. Another key quality of a healthy relationship is empathy. Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn’t about trying to fix your partner’s concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what’s going on with your partner and strive to see things through their eyes, you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant.
I wrote about this week’s coming-up issue of S P A C E over at DK, and thought hard about what the idea of it is, why I wanted to write it, and what it means—to me, but also, to others, or at least, my understanding of what my own writing can do to illuminate a bit of one corner of one place for those who are in yet other places. Snapshot-like, and instantaneous, but in a more drawn-out way than something that is simply, presto!, cut and pasted, without taking the time to get to know a thing or person or place or style or even a language… more about that sometime… in general, my problem with most of what I read or find on the internet or in real life or on telly or on youtube is the great disappointment in seeing that things are shoved together quickly and with ‘impressive graphics’ or ‘fx’ or whatever. Generally, for me, I feel, and I might blame the Millenials for this, [deleted]… and so I hate the show they run. It lacks depth. I mean, like quality. Quality with a capital Q, like. Where is the quality, Gen Y? [deleted]
More to say, but I will save it for another time, where I feel like sharing and talking and exchanging in a way that I feel has quality—I’ve spent years looking at how to design the right space for that to *happen*, and that’s why I feel like I can talk about it now, more and more, and even more. I’m happy about this. I’ve learned a lot, all these years, and these days I get to apply what I know, in short ‘minitheaters’ and sometimes online salons. Kind of enjoying it all.
I will try. To write the things. Straight up, without the abstraction that I usually put into these notes. Because it’s simplifying it: just telling a story, as it is, without getting lost in the mindscapes and instead focusing on the actual being there part.
The look and feel; the moment’s quintessences. There are multiple ones. As if, there are instances of it, and levels, and layers, too.
But wait. This is the reflection bit that I said I would leave to the side, and get to plot and stuff, just write the daily stories, here, where I am. In Vietnam. So. Let me back up, and talk about the story as it started, when it did, three days ago. Three, only just three. My, a world can open, in the space of 72 hours.
I’ll put the feelings together, the new covid cases and the news of those and how it’s been playing out, here. Another chapter for EotR, which is set in this place where I am since it rains nicely, often, and that reminds me of West Cork.
So, it begins.
A new start.
A lovely sunny day… Một ngày nắng đẹp
And finding yourself in the world… Tìm mình trong thế giới
These are the things. Themes. Along with of course illusions, which relate quite tidily with the premise of EotR.
I’ll share the local stories that are coming into shape in a new fashion very soon, with V. Who has inspired these new beginnings. I started again, today, in a new vein and I think… it’s rather sprightly. This is different. This is new. All kinds of amazing things are starting to uncalculate, and it’s okay if they don’t make an equation again, because maybe there just aren’t any rigid ‘fixed’ quantities, anyway, and you just have to be okay with ‘uncertainty’ in the cloud, if that’s where you are, and I think… sometimes that’s where I am, but also, I forgot, I’m here, too.
My first book, The Elopement, was about running off to Ireland to get married. Kind of. I didn’t mean to run off, and I didn’t mean to get married. Lots of things happen in the course of, well, youth. Next year marks the 20-year anniversary of the events in that book’s main story, and I wanted to write a follow-up one. Its working title is End of the Rainbow..
What is End of the Rainbow about? Well… let me put it simply… Relationship, change, and discovering that after years of journeying in the joint venture of marriage what it is that there is—and isn’t—at the end of the rainbow.