So many updates. Some at dipikakohli.com, for example, and also behind the scenes.

kismuth members

New projects to get us talking together

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Making new things, with #spacethezine

chuffed.org/project/spacethezine

 

vignettes

Another Now

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This week, in the writing project online with the people I do that with, every Tuesday and Wednesday, something came up that surprised me. The cojournal is taking an interesting turn. I want to share more in the conversation space for that, in email threads and in the protected forums, but here, for now, this little note. Inspired by something that MK wrote  Sharing that it’s too hard to make friends that are high-quality but not overburdensome. Emotional labor, et al.

I really couldn’t believe how much there is to say about this topic, and some people have said it, insisting in lists of the kind of things that indicate that you are truly showing up for friends what is required now for someone to ‘show up for a friend.’ Really?

Discussing it. In The Cojournal Project.

kismuth members

‘How can I best support you right now?’

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vignettes

How to validate someone’s feelings

From: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#takeaway


‘Think about the last time you went through something difficult. You probably wanted to talk to someone about the problem, but you may not have necessarily wanted them to fix it for you or make it go away.

‘Maybe you just wanted to vent your frustration or disappointment and get some soothing acknowledgment in return.

‘Support doesn’t require you to fully understand a problem or provide a solution. Often, it involves nothing more than validation.

When you validate someone, you’re letting them know you see and understand their perspective.


‘The support people often want most is recognition of their distress. So, when a loved one tells you about the challenges they’re going through, they may not need you to jump in and help. You might offer the best support simply by showing concern and offering a caring presence.


‘Some validating phrases you can use are:

  • “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that situation. It sounds so painful.”
  • “That sounds so upsetting. I understand why you’re feeling so stressed right now.”

Note: Design Kompany (that’s where I publish and co-create more often than over here, lately) will be doing a mental health focused set of zines soon, for S P A C E. Some of those will fall under the category ‘Baok of Feelings,’ which we are co-creating currently with our team in Saigon. Wish us luck.:)

Click to go to #spacethezine page >

 

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Papers, an invitation for just 4

‘How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress:’ N. Bohr, quantum physicist

When DK’s A. Spaice popped around in real life to the N. Bohr Institute in Copenhagen in 2015, we found out something really amazing. It started with poking around here and there. Bohr, a philosopher-scientist, had a library on that site. Of course us being us, we wandered into it. And learned that N. Bohr, ever the thinker and open to new inputs all the time (which of course was the ethos behind the institute itself, and why we were even there), had something cool going.

He had 400 people with whom he would correspond, in letters. Apparently some of them were in the archives at the NBI. DK was impressed by this and moved to try something, but with a twist: a modern update, using the technologies at hand. Also, a wider scope for corresponders. You wouldn’t have to be a scientist, or an expert. The more of a mix, the better. Also, we can manage about 1% of what Bohr could, around here, so we are limiting our correpsondence circle to a maximum of 4. In ‘Papers.’

Here’s what it is. Given today’s world of frittered and inane chatter, Bohr’s way of connecting and deepening correspondences of substance and value seemed a good method to highlight, and, to apply.

What is Papers?

An online writing-and-design-and-generally-creative circle for community. Ambient community that is. International and asynchronous: ‘Papers.’

Why?

Because we are tired of superficial, inane chatter and want some actual depth, progression and substance in our online converations. That’s why.

Six weeks of amazing online conversations with a max of 4 hosted by the unconventional and unexpected remarkable improvisationalists at DK

How does it work ?

It’s 100% email correspondence. No meetings. Fresh prompts arrive once a week and are written based on application inputs & emerging topics.

They are written personally by DK’s Dipika Kohli, who designs and hosts this jam. More about Papers is here.

What people have said, about DK’s works…

  • ‘Refreshingly honest’, guest of ‘N’ Phnom Penh, 2014
  • ‘Astonishing!’, guest of The Mirror, online workshop, 2018
  • ‘Weird and intriguing’, guest of Hello August, Phnom Penh, 2014

 

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books

End of the Rainbow (2020)

My first book, The Elopement, was about running off to Ireland to get married. Kind of. I didn’t mean to run off, and I didn’t mean to get married. Lots of things happen in the course of, well, youth. Next year marks the 20-year anniversary of the events in that book’s main story, and I wanted to write a follow-up one. Its working title is End of the Rainbow.  

 

Order End of the Rainbow

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