This quote comes up a lot. In the conversations. Now I will join one… calls.

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Join

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Some of us are growing. Some of us are changing.

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Growth

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It is easy to get lost in loss.

The feelings are there, and you don’t know what to do with them, and grief overtakes you. I’ve written about childhood grief, and I’ve written about pregnancy loss that wasn’t quite as simple as it sounds due to a genetic anomaly.

I’ve also written about the loss of community and culture, (owing to often moving, whole continental shifts at times). People change. You change. We drift; it’s natural.

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Loss

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Making new things, with #spacethezine

chuffed.org/project/spacethezine

 

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Another Now

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How to validate someone’s feelings

From: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#takeaway


‘Think about the last time you went through something difficult. You probably wanted to talk to someone about the problem, but you may not have necessarily wanted them to fix it for you or make it go away.

‘Maybe you just wanted to vent your frustration or disappointment and get some soothing acknowledgment in return.

‘Support doesn’t require you to fully understand a problem or provide a solution. Often, it involves nothing more than validation.

When you validate someone, you’re letting them know you see and understand their perspective.


‘The support people often want most is recognition of their distress. So, when a loved one tells you about the challenges they’re going through, they may not need you to jump in and help. You might offer the best support simply by showing concern and offering a caring presence.


‘Some validating phrases you can use are:

  • “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that situation. It sounds so painful.”
  • “That sounds so upsetting. I understand why you’re feeling so stressed right now.”

Note: Design Kompany (that’s where I publish and co-create more often than over here, lately) will be doing a mental health focused set of zines soon, for S P A C E. Some of those will fall under the category ‘Baok of Feelings,’ which we are co-creating currently with our team in Saigon. Wish us luck.:)

Click to go to #spacethezine page >

 

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books

End of the Rainbow (2020)

My first book, The Elopement, was about running off to Ireland to get married. Kind of. I didn’t mean to run off, and I didn’t mean to get married. Lots of things happen in the course of, well, youth. Next year marks the 20-year anniversary of the events in that book’s main story, and I wanted to write a follow-up one. Its working title is End of the Rainbow.  

 

Order End of the Rainbow

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vignettes

Breakfast in Cambodia (2016)

Breakfast in Cambodia is a true story of disconnecting from life in a rich, Western country for one year on ‘the road’ in south and southeast Asia. Of landing in Phnom Penh, and reinventing a sense of self. What solitude, time, distance and quiet space can teach us about our innermost selves is the heart of this story, to me. I really think this next thing. I believe this. That in our modern world, the village is one to which we all belong—as humanity. There is a quiet, strong, ancient village that dates back centuries. It’s ours. It’s beautiful. And it belongs to all of us.

Order Breakfast in Cambodia — $15

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