‘You always seem to land on your feet’..
Something I hear a lot, from people.
Gotta be able to.
Me, in reply…
In my head of course..
Well, if that weren’t the case, how else could I do this? Wandering around as I do: freestyle. Without plans. Without income streams, gigs on the horizon, or any agenda. Lol.
Figuring it out as you go isn’t something that new to me, though. I started early. Leaving home at 16, to go to boarding school, was the beginning of it all. Then, there were study abroad jaunts to Ghana for a summer, to Japan for a year. Then, of course, I wanted to try ‘big city bright lights’ living so I moved to Tokyo, then later, New York City. All of this before I was 25. Somewhere in there I also graduated summa cum laude from a civil engineering college that I got a full scholarship to go to and was interviewed by like 13 people in a panel for the Oxford [insert famous colonialist whom they’re debating keeping around as a statue at the college, etc… guess which one!] Scholarship at the end of it. Lots of stuff I’m skipping over, here, in the interest of time.
When I hit 25, my grandfather in Delhi told me, ‘It’s time for you to get married.’ For some reason, I sort of agreed. Eloping to Ireland happened, next.
Where I found this…
… which led to Kanishka, which of course is at the center, thematically, of the Kismuth series… it’s about love, loss, risk and… chance. Roughly coordinated like so:
Vol. I. Kanishka… ‘What about if?’
Vol II. The Elopement… ‘How much is too much to trade for a promise of love?’
Vol III. The Dive… ‘Sometimes love is letting go…’
Vol IV. Flight of Pisces… ‘Let it *happen*.’
The first book I published was Vol. II, The Elopement. That’s because from the start of publishing this stuff back in 2012, I had had the idea to write Kanishka way later, like ‘Star Wars’ style. Really it was the crux of the story. I remember reading parts of it to my friends over the phone to see if they ‘got’ the feeling. They sure did. Much has evolved of course since 2012, and I published Kanishka as a serial with a magazine in India but yeah. The book, made some dents, I think, emotionally. Got some great letters, from that. Also from people who read The Dive, which is about interrupting a much-wanted pregnancy. Lots to say, so I said it. In the book. But The Elopement, weirdly, was the one most people who got in touch with me said they could relate to. Perhaps it’s all the stuff about how you change, and how your relatives show their true colors, and stuff, when this kind of thing comes up. Drama, sure. But it’s not like… nothing has drama… everything does. How you cope with the things, that’s the art of living.. Ergo, ‘You seem to always land on your feet’ feels so trite, banal, and uninformed, when people say it to me. They think I just luck out. Lol. They don’t know, though. Making a thing seem effortless… there’s an Italian word for it. I could tell you but it would sound like showoff stuff. Will not do that. Me? I’m kind of into the idea of living by design, so.
I sure have changed since the days of writing ‘Star Wars’ into anything on a blog, ha ha. Meantime, I’m rewiring FoP. The good news is only like a dozen people read it, but one of them passed it all around to my family in Delhi, ahha. Those people really believed everything I wrote, ha haha. They said so, when we met, awkwardly, lol. Relatives. It’s so great to live without them.
Finding out a thing or two
Right. So, after the things that led to The Elopement, now what? And 20 years later, I kind of just feel like talking about all the events between then, and now… Part of why I’m putting this post here is to see if you might have questions for me? (When I say ‘you’ I mean, people who have read Kismuth for a little while, or are familiar with its intent, content, style, and direction.) What should I talk about? How I wound up in Cambodia for six years? What I did in Seattle for the same length of time? The way it felt to ‘come home’ only to feel all the old feelings again of rejection, isolation, lack of support, dismay at the lack of original thinking, and the call of the road, again? Or, the lovely outcropping of community that I find valuable in internet spaces, discovering people online and sometimes even meeting them in person, for salons, for real life get-togethers, or for poetic things we do in the same vein in the cloud, like e-conversations, “Slow Moment’, ‘The Mirror’, or ‘The Cojournal Project’? Gosh, I learned a lot from all that. So. So. Much.
I’m actually changing about quite a bit here, not just with the site, but more ways than that, and as I do, it’s helpful to touch bases and see where you are, too, and ask questions of you about how to make this thing even better. So I’ll be in touch here there, with some, pointing you to this page, maybe, and asking about your own growths, and evolutions…
Maybe I’ll start it like…
World’s changing like crazy, isn’t it. Anyway, how are you? It’s been a little while…
I already sent the most important messages, like this, to two very old, very once-upon-a-time very close friends. But what about you, there, reading and wondering about how we lost touch. Did we? We can restart… Let’s… reconnect. Here’s a form… it’s at Design Kompany’s site because I like to just use one thing at a time. I’m not big on different ‘channels’ and as Kismuth and DK are kind of just both different aspects of, well, me, so. Well, anyway. Here’s it is again. TTYS.